katesmess no-heroesallowed

macintush:

"It’s pronounced like jif"

Yeah well I don’t gif a fuck

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525,910 notes
renloras curledminds
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unamusedsloth no-heroesallowed
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bitchmymomisadragqueen summvr
muffytakesmanhattan mo-urnful
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pattinson-mcguinness rnelonfucker

Could you imagine getting an apartment with the person you love. Falling asleep beside each other, and waking up to see that cute little dopey smile they make when they first get up. You’d never have a bad start to your day, because they’d be the perfect start.

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exceptional-y im-not-faithless
p-lata
  • Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
  • Me: *turns up music*
  • Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
  • Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
  • Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
  • Me:
  • Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
  • Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
  • Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
  • Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
  • Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
  • Lady cop: I can make that happen.
  • Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
  • Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
  • Entire train: *applauds*
507,994 notes
onlypluggedin im-not-faithless
me peeing
  • me: shit son
  • me: sHIT
  • me: that water is barely yellow
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: i am hydrated as HELL
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gaypos im-not-faithless
kimkanyekimye hotboyproblems
aimeebeebrooks:

houseplant
blog.aimeebeebrooks.com the-dopest-shitt

unclefather:

theskeetman:

if you have nothing good to say say it

i hate stuart little and i don;t think he deserved 3 movies

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unit03 stop